My biggest fear at 32 weeks

in , by Cynthia Cano, 4:53 PM
I'm in the final days of my 32 weeks of pregnancy and my nesting mood has kicked in. I have been into cleaning and decorating for the past couple of days and I can't seem to sit down and relax. Except for today. Today I woke up feeling my belly so heavy and feeling like I can't put my feet on the ground. So I've taken the day to just sit on my comfy couch, watch reruns of KUWTK and browse the web. The episode I'm currently watching (literally as I type up this post) is the one where North came 5 weeks before he due date and apparently, her nursery was nowhere near to being done or even started! That brought me to thinking....

I've had contractions this past week and had to call my doctor to see if I should go to the hospital or wait it out til my next appointment, which was the following day. Thank God, they said to just drink lots of water and relax since I wasn't having any vaginal bleeding and I had less than 5 contractions in an hour, so I did, for a few minutes and then I was up and moving again. Since then, I've been all about getting everything ready for Mali, I mean, she could be here any minute now! But after watching this episode, it kind of spooked me a little more than what I've already been and started to think about everything I'm fearing for the next couple of weeks.

Mali being born early and her nursery not being ready
For the past week I have been so focused on getting the room ready. Since I'm separated and living at my parents house, Mali and I will be sharing a room. I pretty much had my side of the room ready since December but I decided on a coral color for Mali's side a few days ago. So we painted, but now I have to change the color pattern on my side of the room again, lol. The struggle of decorating a combined room! My mom has been on top of me to sit down and relax, but I feel so anxious about her arrival and just want to see everything done already.

Labor pains 
Those that know me, know I'm not into experiencing pain. My family jokes all the time about how I reacted to the pain I had right before my surgery. Yea, it was a serious matter, but looking back on it now, even I crack up at it. I was yelling and telling everyone because of how bad it was, so I can only imagine how it will be for me when I go into labor. I've had the minor pain of Braxton Hicks but I'm pretty sure it can't be as bad as real contractions. So good luck to me!

Having to go in for an emergency c-section
I think this is pretty much every pregnant woman's fear, I have already gone through surgery once to remove my first pregnancy (it was an ectopic) and even though a c-section is almost completely different than the procedure I had, I'm terrified of having to go through it. The thought of being awake during the surgical procedure just freaks me out. I can't stand pain, imagine feeling all that pressure and movement inside (I'm assuming it's different than baby movements).

I've been so happy and excited for the arrival for my baby girl my entire pregnancy but as time goes by and I get closer to the due date, I become more nervous and scared of the entire experience.

With that said, what are/were some of your fears towards the end of your pregnancy?

Xo, Cynthia

PS: I started writing this post as I watched tv, It wasn't planned or anything so excuse an grammar mistakes.. I read over it once I finished it but didn't do an actual proof-read, lol.

Women's Retreat: Stand up & Shine!

in , by Cynthia Cano, 7:00 AM
This past weekend was such a blessing!

Friday evening, myself and some of the women from my church road tripped to Cincinnati, OH for a women's retreat. It took us about 2 1/2 hours to get there but when we finally made it, it was well worth the drive. Phones, tablets, etc, were put away and it was time to enjoy our time alone with God.

When we got there on Friday, we quickly entered to join the rest of the ladies in service. We sang songs to the Lord and many women received prophet words directly from God. When service was over, we made our way to the bunks. We had so much fun! We ended up changing rooms, where just the 8 of us. Because of how loud we were, three more people that weren't in our group ended up joining us in that room... but wait until you hear the testimony on that. It was so much fun!

Pursuing Intimacy with God

in , by Cynthia Cano, 6:00 AM
I used to think that in order for me to have a high level of intimacy with God, I had to go through tough situations; as if a tough situation would really push me closer to Him. In part, yes, that does need to happen because sometimes, we are so focused on the good that we forget to continue establishing that daily relationship with Him. The sad thing about it is that our intimacy with God has become circumstantial instead of being a passion we live for. I have noticed that in many people's lives, including my own, that intimate relationship with God is no longer a priority but more of a when I need it type of thing. It shouldn't be that way, plain and simple. We should (especially if we have already been given the opportunity to know Him) desire to have that deeper connection with Him; we shouldn't be satisfied to pursue Him only when we need Him for something.
No one knows the struggle of traveling better than a pregnant woman, especially when traveling over the road. I'm telling you, I enjoyed the 15 hour road trip but if you ask me if I would do it again, I'd say not in my third trimester. It wasn't a horrible trip, but it was tiring and uncomfortable with this big ol' belly and to add to the stress of my big ol' belly, we also traveled with three dogs. Never again.

Before taking the trip, I read a lot of different blogs about traveling while pregnant and I tried to follow a lot of their tips, but when it's your turn to take the trip, the results can be a little different. SO! I decided to create my own list of tips for all of you expecting mommies in hopes to lighten up the stress of traveling in your third trimester. By no means are these tips something you have to follow, but tips to keep in mind on your next trip.

  • Dress comfy!
    Try to wear loose fitting clothes if you can. On the way to our destination, I decided to wear leggings and a maternity shirt because I thought it would be comfortable and cute. Well, I did a great job on the cute part but on the comfortable part, not so much. Not only did the leggings not give me any breathing room on my legs, but they hurt the crap out of my lower belly after sitting for almost 16 hours. On the way back home, I decided on a t-shirt and loose pajama pants and I was so much more comfortable the entire ride.
  • Leave the sneakers in your bag!
    I thought sneakers would prevent my feet from swelling so much but it kind of made it worse. By the time I took off my sneakers I could barely walk due to the fact that since my feet were compressed the entire time, all the swelling went to my ankles. As dumb as this sounds, I'd rather have my entire foot swollen than just my ankles; it's way too painful. On the way back home, I decided on flip flops that were easy to take off and put back whenever we stopped for a restroom break.
  • Don't skip restroom breaks!
    You never know how far the next rest area is (well, actually you do).  Each sign should tell you the distance to the next one but don't try to be brave and hold on until you can't anymore. Stop while you can, believe me. There was only one time I decided to wait so that we could get a little bit more ahead and I regretted it afterward. I ended up telling my mom to stop wherever there was a gas station so I could run into the restroom, thank God we finally got to the rest area in time.
  • Pack lots of snacks!
    Healthy if possible! We packed ham and cheese sandwiches with a bag of lettuce on the side for those that eat lettuce; peanut butter & jelly sandwiches, fruits and crackers. Oh! and lots of water and juices. You have to make sure you keep yourself hydrated with water (even if it means taking an extra restroom break). Remember to think of your little one. Believe me when I say, he/she will get uncomfortable in there and will let you know it.
  • Call shot gun!
    Sitting in the front seat passenger side is definitely going to help with the swelling on your feet. I swelled a lot when I sat in the back but once I sat in the front seat and was able to elevate my feet up on the dashboard, the swelling went down a lot.
  • Pack your baby bag & take it with you!
    Honestly, I didn't really need to take the precaution because I've had such a healthy pregnancy that doctors weren't worried about me traveling, but lets be real, anything can happen. You want to be prepared in case your little one decides to make an unexpected appearance. 
and lastly.....
  • Enjoy the ride!
    I stressed the trip a lot at first because I was so nervous about traveling so late in my pregnancy, but once I relaxed, I was able to enjoy the trip alongside my family.

Let me know what you mommies to be think about these tips & feel free to share your own!

Back to school, I go.

by Cynthia Cano, 4:54 PM
That's right.

I have officially completed my registration and financial aid application for the Fall. I know some people may down me for going back to school just a month and a half after my daughter is born, but I'm doing this for her.

I have wanted to go back to school for so long but due to certain personal circumstances, I haven't had the chance. But with bringing this little person into the world, and knowing I will have to provide for her until the day that she begins her own life, I decided I wanted to become a better person. Again, I wanted to this before but because of some issues in my life, I wasn't able to. Now that it's just me and her, I have found enough motivation to move forward in my life and do better, not for me, but for her, my princess.

Bump Update: 30 weeks pregnant!

in , by Cynthia Cano, 10:00 AM
Hello, Third Trimester!

Today I am finally 30 weeks pregnant. It's crazy how fast these 7 1/2 months have gone by. Pretty soon I'll have my little girl in my arms. Ah! I can't wait. Pregnancy has been such a beautiful experience for me; being able to feel Mali's little kicks and movements and feeling her have hiccups; ohmagoshhh, I love it. I know for a fact that when she is here, I'm going to miss feeling her inside of me, but nothing will compare to actually having her in my arms.

I'm excited to be a mother. I dreamed of this since I was a little girl. When I got married in 2014 I prayed nonstop for me to become pregnant. Many know my testimony and many don't but finding out I was pregnant in October of 2015 was truly a miracle - from having emergency surgery for an ectopic pregnancy, to being told it would take a while for me become pregnant, to God tell us that we would be great parents and that I was healed, and then getting our confirmation. God truly does work in mysterious ways and that's why our babygirl is a miracle from Heaven (read the full testimony here).

In just two days my family and I leave to Connecticut for my first babyshower. Yes, my first, meaning I have a second one coming in May, lol. My father and stepmother are hosting a babyshower in my hometown so that our entire family can celebrate the coming of the first grand daughter in the Del Toro family (just like I was the first grand daughter, Mali now is the first grand daughter too). It's going to be such a beautiful day, I know it! Don't worry, I will definitely keep everyone posted on how both babyshower's turned out.

  • Movements : She moves so much during the day and night. But she does most of her hard kicks around 11pm, every single night, lol. She gives me a hard time sleeping most of the time, but I wouldn't trade this feeling for anything in this world.
  • Weight Gain : So far I have gained a total of almost 20 pounds and I'm not ashamed of it! Mostly it's all baby because you can't even see the pounds on me.
  • Contractions : For the first last week I had braxton hicks contractions around 1-2 in the morning. They were strong but not so strong, if you get what I mean. They were definitely strong enough to wake me up in the middle of the night.
  • Cravings : Nothing but sweets. Don't judge me! I get these late night cravings for sweet stuff a couple times a week. There's been a couple times we've made late night runs to McDonald's for Oreo and M&M mcflurries, lol.
  • Swelling : A lot. I started working part time a little over a month ago and ever since then my feet and fingers started swelling really bad and I ended up in the hospital. Everything turned out fine but they did tell me to stay away from salty foods, especially any fast foods (which I started eating a lot when I started working again).
  • Heartburn : I get heartburn from time to time so I'm hoping she comes out with lots of hair.

Pregnancy has been a blessing but I can't wait for June to come around and meet this little princess of ours!

Out of My Comfort Zone

in , by Cynthia Cano, 9:01 AM

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