My biggest fear at 32 weeks

in , by Cynthia Cano, 4:53 PM
I'm in the final days of my 32 weeks of pregnancy and my nesting mood has kicked in. I have been into cleaning and decorating for the past couple of days and I can't seem to sit down and relax. Except for today. Today I woke up feeling my belly so heavy and feeling like I can't put my feet on the ground. So I've taken the day to just sit on my comfy couch, watch reruns of KUWTK and browse the web. The episode I'm currently watching (literally as I type up this post) is the one where North came 5 weeks before he due date and apparently, her nursery was nowhere near to being done or even started! That brought me to thinking....

I've had contractions this past week and had to call my doctor to see if I should go to the hospital or wait it out til my next appointment, which was the following day. Thank God, they said to just drink lots of water and relax since I wasn't having any vaginal bleeding and I had less than 5 contractions in an hour, so I did, for a few minutes and then I was up and moving again. Since then, I've been all about getting everything ready for Mali, I mean, she could be here any minute now! But after watching this episode, it kind of spooked me a little more than what I've already been and started to think about everything I'm fearing for the next couple of weeks.

Mali being born early and her nursery not being ready
For the past week I have been so focused on getting the room ready. Since I'm separated and living at my parents house, Mali and I will be sharing a room. I pretty much had my side of the room ready since December but I decided on a coral color for Mali's side a few days ago. So we painted, but now I have to change the color pattern on my side of the room again, lol. The struggle of decorating a combined room! My mom has been on top of me to sit down and relax, but I feel so anxious about her arrival and just want to see everything done already.

Labor pains 
Those that know me, know I'm not into experiencing pain. My family jokes all the time about how I reacted to the pain I had right before my surgery. Yea, it was a serious matter, but looking back on it now, even I crack up at it. I was yelling and telling everyone because of how bad it was, so I can only imagine how it will be for me when I go into labor. I've had the minor pain of Braxton Hicks but I'm pretty sure it can't be as bad as real contractions. So good luck to me!

Having to go in for an emergency c-section
I think this is pretty much every pregnant woman's fear, I have already gone through surgery once to remove my first pregnancy (it was an ectopic) and even though a c-section is almost completely different than the procedure I had, I'm terrified of having to go through it. The thought of being awake during the surgical procedure just freaks me out. I can't stand pain, imagine feeling all that pressure and movement inside (I'm assuming it's different than baby movements).

I've been so happy and excited for the arrival for my baby girl my entire pregnancy but as time goes by and I get closer to the due date, I become more nervous and scared of the entire experience.

With that said, what are/were some of your fears towards the end of your pregnancy?

Xo, Cynthia

PS: I started writing this post as I watched tv, It wasn't planned or anything so excuse an grammar mistakes.. I read over it once I finished it but didn't do an actual proof-read, lol.
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