May 19, 2020

6 Things every newlywed couple should know

This blog post is probably the one I'm most excited for because my hubby is helping me write it, (hopefully we can get a video out on this too). I've had so many questions about our marriage restoration recently; so, if you've been interested in reading about that testimony, check out my original post: From Ashes to Riches. It's definitely due for an update, but in the mean time, you guys can always refer back to that one if you want.

Now back to today's post. Today, I partnered up with my amazing husband of almost 6 years to write a post targeted to newlyweds! Yup, this one is for you guys! It might be a little more on the lighter side than other marriage posts on my blog, but I think you'll definitely enjoy this.

Rumor has it that the first 2 years of marriage are probably the most hardest in a lot of marriages and you know what? I can vouch for that! Marriage is not easy work, whatsoever, but those first two years, yikes. [Disclaimer: I am in no way trying to startle you with this news, lol. Just giving you a little heads up based on my experiences, haha]. Marriage is also a beautiful thing, despite everything else I have mentioned above. It truly is a gift from God. But as with all gifts God gives us, we just have to learn to manage them. And frankly, managing those things don't always come easy if you're totally new to it. 

When we first got married, every single little thing bothered me. Literally. The way a towel was folded, or better yet, the way it was not folded. Socks on the floor. Bathroom curtain left opened. I mean, you name it, it probably annoyed me. Just being transparent here! I'm sure there were things about me that annoyed my husband too, but since this is my part of the blog, I won't mention those yet!! Ready to get started on those things you should know? Grab a cup of coffee, and have a seat. This one is gonna be good.



FOR THE LADIES:

Dirty socks wont always make it to the laundry basket
Oh my gosssshhhh!!! When I tell you that this angered me so much, believe it. Orlando would come home from a long day of work, shoot his dirty clothes into the laundry basket, but not everything always made it in. Those socks that landed just a few inches from the basket ended up just sitting there until I got to them. I would get so angry. But over time I realized that a dirty sock next to the laundry basket was so insignificant compared to the blessing of marriage that I now just pick it up and move on. Imagine working in a physical job, you would come home and not want to pickup any socks up from the floor either. So ladies, don't make it a big deal. Just pick it up and move on. It's not worth the argument. Trust me!

Ask him about his day
I'm not much of a conversational person. Actually, I'm learning to be now, but in the beginning of our marriage, that definitely was not me. My husband would come home from work and I wouldn't even bother asking how his day was. Ladies! Our men want to feel like we care about them too. It's so important to ask them how they're work day was and let them express any frustrations without you judging or criticizing what he is saying. Sometimes he just needs an ear that is willing to listen so ask him about his day and genuinely listen to him. You can learn so much about your man if you just listen.

Understand his love language
Ok! So this is probably going to be the most serious tip in this whole post but it's extremely important for every marriage. Understanding your husband's (or future husband) love language is essential because when you don't, you can easily start to get frustrated. In our marriage, our love languages are completely, but I mean, a whole 'notha universe of a difference! My husband's love language is physical touch, while mine is more like, buy me flowers and I'm set. And if  I'm completely honest, for a long time this caused a lot of issues between us because I wasn't understanding of that. I expected him to show love the way that I wanted it, and even though he did, whenever he expressed love his way, I would get livid! I had to truly pray to God to help understand why he loved the way he did and help me 3accept it. We all show love in different ways and we can't expect our partners to mirror what we do and how we show love. Love languages. Super important! 


FOR THE MEN:

Help as much as you can around the house
Guys! Turn off ESPN, get off of your butt, and help your wife clean up the house. They are so particular about having a clean and organized home (nothing wrong with that) and when it's not clean, they're not happy! Trust me. She wants to relax as much as we want to and if you help, she can get everything done faster.

Be smart with your money from the get go
Both of you are responsible for managing the money in your house but you, as the head of household, you need to make sure you are as frugal as possible. Financial instability can really add a lot stress to a marriage. You never want to start off bad with your finances. Plus, if you guys work on having a good savings, there will be more opportunities for nice vacations, which you guys will need, or you could even send your wife on a shopping spree, and she'll love that!! 

Put her needs and wants before yours
Selflessness should be your priority. If you know your wife wants or needs something, don't wait for her to tell you. Whether it's flowers, ice cream, clothes, or she wants to get her nails done, put it before the things you want. Seeing your wife happy with the things she wants is the most rewarding feeling in a marriage. Happy wife. Happy life.

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Welp! There you have it. These are our newlywed need-to-know tips. Everything we mentioned, we have literally overcome. Our marriage was not easy in the beginning; we had a lot of issues because we just couldn't understand each other. We never even went to marriage counseling, so everything we learned, we learned by experience and by praying to God for guidance. I can't promise you it will be easy, but I can tell this: 

If you love him/her, then make an effort to understand each other. 

Never get too comfortable.

Always keep dating, even when you have children.

Flirt! Big time.

And above all...

Put God first.

Only then, will your marriage truly flourish.

xo, Cynthia & Orlando


May 8, 2020

My biggest struggle as a Network Marketer

Network Marketer? What in the world is that? Those were exactly my thoughts just a year ago. Truth is, I had heard of the term, but never had an idea of what it was, not even in my adulthood. Now the sad part is, that when I finally learned what a Network Marketer was, I scoffed at the idea and thought it was nothing but scams. I never once thought I would end up actually becoming one. Yup! I am a Network Marketer!!

So what exactly is Network Marketing? In the most basic term: it's a business model that acquires the help of independent distributors to get their products sold. I work for a Health and Wellness company that has been around for over 18 years and, my favorite part of it all, the CEO is a man of God! Yes, this is faith based company and I'm so grateful to be a part of it.

When I joined this company 8 months ago, I didn't think I would grow as an individual as much as I have. I honestly didn't think of much it. I didn't think I could actually make money because I had never been a "sales" person and I didn't think anyone would even take my business serious. But, the company had an amazing deal going on for people that wanted to join and I was able to join for half off. No money wasted, right? Right!



When I first started, I was a bit embarrassed to post about the products and talk to anyone about it because, I mean, who wants a total rando in their inbox talking about some product they've never heard about before, lol? No but really, I was embarrassed at first. But I as I continued to work the business, I started gaining the trust of my social media friends and they started buying from me. I began to really enjoy what I was doing, but as the time went on I started to struggle a little bit.

I wasn't struggling so much with the business, per say. When I say struggle, I mean with time management. I found myself on my phone 24/7 to the point where my oldest would ask me several times a day if I was still busy. It made me feel horrible. And on top of that, I wasn't giving God the time I needed to be giving him. I was feeling very discouraged because I couldn't figure out a balance to manage it all. And if I'm honest, I contemplated quitting many, many times. I wanted to be good at what I was doing. I wanted to make money. But if making my child feel abandoned and pushing God to the side was the result of my aspirations, was it even worth it?

It really was a big struggle for me. But one day I felt in my spirit that I needed to slow down. Yes, the amount of work that I put into my business determined my paycheck, but for me (it might be different for you), it wasn't and never will be about the money. It's about helping people feel better about themselves and spreading the Gospel.

If I was going to lose touch with God and my family over something material then I didn't want a part of it. I had to ask God for forgiveness and I pleaded for him to show me how to manage my time, if not, take me out of the business. Thankfully, I have been able to do a lot better. Give time to my kids and to God, and still be able to run my business part-time. If I don't get to a message right away, then oh well. I can always follow up later. And if I lose the sale because I didn't respond right then and there, then you know what, the sale was never for me anyway.

I'm learning that when we put stuff before God, God can't bless it. There was literally a time where I had  0 sales and I was getting so frustrated. But I did it to myself for not putting God first. When I started asking God for help, for guidance in time management and for him to direct me to the people that I needed to speak to about this opportunity and products, that's when I started to see things turn around slowly. God is the midst. And that's what matters!

If you're a fellow NM, I'd love for you to share what your biggest struggle has been in this endeavor and how you have been able to overcome it.


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