This blog post is probably the one I'm most excited for because my hubby is helping me write it, (hopefully we can get a video out on this too). I've had so many questions about our marriage restoration recently; so, if you've been interested in reading about that testimony, check out my original post: From Ashes to Riches. It's definitely due for an update,
but in the mean time, you guys can always refer back to that one if you want.




Now back to today's post. Today, I partnered up with my amazing husband of almost 6 years to write a post targeted to newlyweds! Yup, this one is for you guys! It might be a little more on the lighter side than other marriage posts on my blog, but I think you'll definitely enjoy this.

Rumor has it that the first 2 years of marriage are probably the most hardest in a lot of marriages and you know what? I can vouch for that! Marriage is not easy work, whatsoever, but those first two years, yikes. [Disclaimer: I am in no way trying to startle you with this news, lol. Just giving you a little heads up based on my experiences, haha]. Marriage is also a beautiful thing, despite everything else I have mentioned above. It truly is a gift from God. But as with all gifts God gives us, we just have to learn to manage them. And frankly, managing those things don't always come easy if you're totally new to it. 

When we first got married, every single little thing bothered me. Literally. The way a towel was folded, or better yet, the way it was not folded. Socks on the floor. Bathroom curtain left opened. I mean, you name it, it probably annoyed me. Just being transparent here! I'm sure there were things about me that annoyed my husband too, but since this is my part of the blog, I won't mention those yet!! Ready to get started on those things you should know? Grab a cup of coffee, and have a seat. This one is gonna be good.



FOR THE LADIES:

Dirty socks wont always make it to the laundry basket
Oh my gosssshhhh!!! When I tell you that this angered me so much, believe it. Orlando would come home from a long day of work, shoot his dirty clothes into the laundry basket, but not everything always made it in. Those socks that landed just a few inches from the basket ended up just sitting there until I got to them. I would get so angry. But over time I realized that a dirty sock next to the laundry basket was so insignificant compared to the blessing of marriage that I now just pick it up and move on. Imagine working in a physical job, you would come home and not want to pickup any socks up from the floor either. So ladies, don't make it a big deal. Just pick it up and move on. It's not worth the argument. Trust me!

Ask him about his day
I'm not much of a conversational person. Actually, I'm learning to be now, but in the beginning of our marriage, that definitely was not me. My husband would come home from work and I wouldn't even bother asking how his day was. Ladies! Our men want to feel like we care about them too. It's so important to ask them how they're work day was and let them express any frustrations without you judging or criticizing what he is saying. Sometimes he just needs an ear that is willing to listen so ask him about his day and genuinely listen to him. You can learn so much about your man if you just listen.

Understand his love language
Ok! So this is probably going to be the most serious tip in this whole post but it's extremely important for every marriage. Understanding your husband's (or future husband) love language is essential because when you don't, you can easily start to get frustrated. In our marriage, our love languages are completely, but I mean, a whole 'notha universe of a difference! My husband's love language is physical touch, while mine is more like, buy me flowers and I'm set. And if  I'm completely honest, for a long time this caused a lot of issues between us because I wasn't understanding of that. I expected him to show love the way that I wanted it, and even though he did, whenever he expressed love his way, I would get livid! I had to truly pray to God to help understand why he loved the way he did and help me 3accept it. We all show love in different ways and we can't expect our partners to mirror what we do and how we show love. Love languages. Super important! 


FOR THE MEN:

Help as much as you can around the house
Guys! Turn off ESPN, get off of your butt, and help your wife clean up the house. They are so particular about having a clean and organized home (nothing wrong with that) and when it's not clean, they're not happy! Trust me. She wants to relax as much as we want to and if you help, she can get everything done faster.

Be smart with your money from the get go
Both of you are responsible for managing the money in your house but you, as the head of household, you need to make sure you are as frugal as possible. Financial instability can really add a lot stress to a marriage. You never want to start off bad with your finances. Plus, if you guys work on having a good savings, there will be more opportunities for nice vacations, which you guys will need, or you could even send your wife on a shopping spree, and she'll love that!! 

Put her needs and wants before yours
Selflessness should be your priority. If you know your wife wants or needs something, don't wait for her to tell you. Whether it's flowers, ice cream, clothes, or she wants to get her nails done, put it before the things you want. Seeing your wife happy with the things she wants is the most rewarding feeling in a marriage. Happy wife. Happy life.

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Welp! There you have it. These are our newlywed need-to-know tips. Everything we mentioned, we have literally overcome. Our marriage was not easy in the beginning; we had a lot of issues because we just couldn't understand each other. We never even went to marriage counseling, so everything we learned, we learned by experience and by praying to God for guidance. I can't promise you it will be easy, but I can tell this: 

If you love him/her, then make an effort to understand each other. 

Never get too comfortable.

Always keep dating, even when you have children.

Flirt! Big time.

And above all...

Put God first.

Only then, will your marriage truly flourish.

xo, Cynthia & Orlando


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